1 Andha aadmi air force...

1 Andha aadmi air force mein bharti ke liye gaya

Major: Main tumhe kiss kam ke liye rakhu?

Aadmi: Sirf andhadhundh firing ke liye!

Aladdin ka chirag ...

Aladdin ka chirag Mila!

= Me jin se bola,
is sms parhne wale ka dimag 10 guna zyada barha do!

*Jin hans kar bola-
= Multiplication doesnt apply on zero!

Santa was kissing...

Santa was kissing A Blank Paper,
Banta: ye kya hai?
Santa: meri Girl Friend ka love letter.
Banta: but ye to khaali hai,
Santa: Aaj kal bol-chal bnd hai

Aaj 4baje kutte ki rece..

Santa apni wife se: Aaj 4baje kutte ki rece hi mujhe wahan jana hai...

Wife: Bas rehne do thik se chala jata nahi aur rece lagaoge...!!!

Ek tha Chooha...

Ek tha Chooha.
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.Bas Ek hi tha
aur nahi tha

Santa- Mere 3 bete Engineer ban gaye...

Santa- Mere 3 bete Engineer ban gaye lekin ek kambakht DAKU ban gaya.
Banta- To usko ghar se nikal do.

Santa- Yahi to problem hai kamakar b sala wahi lata hai….

Sardar apni 6 months ki...

Sardar apni 6 months ki baby ki awaz record kar raha tha.
2nd Sardar ne pucha iska kya karoge????
1st Sardar :-: Jab ye badi ho jayegi to ise suna kar iska matlab puchunga............

hahahaha

Shoaib Malik joke in Hindi-Marriage to Ayesha

This is how Ayesha got married to Shoaib on phone.
Ayesha - "Hello Shoaib Afghanistan ka capital kya hai
Shoaib - "Kabul" hai
Ayesha - Sunai nahi de raha hai!
Shoaib - "Kabul" hai
Ayesha - Arre baba phir se bolo.
Shoaib - "Kabul" hai "Kabul" hai "Kabul" hai
The marriage ceremony was completed..

Santa Banta sardar jokes-Fax

Banta : I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto that I'd be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found Preeto in another man's arms.

Santa : kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, she didn't get the fax."

Church bulletin - Joke

I write the church bulletin each week. Last week on complete accident instead of putting in "Pastor Vill will be giving this weeks exciting messages" I wrote: "This week Pastor Vill will be giving this weeks exciting massages."
Another time I was suppose to write "Forgiveness can send you to hell" and I accidentally wrote: "Forgiveness will send you to hell."
Needless to say my work is checked before the bulletins are printed and passed out now in church.

Santa Dancing in Clubs

Santa England Mai Club Me Chala Gaya,
Wahan Ja K Khoob Naacha,
Dance Karny K Bad Bola,
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O Yara Koi Hum Ko Ye To Bataye K Ye SHADI Kis Ka Hai.

Santa Banta Jokes

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Santa: Tu bata ke meri tokri me kya hai to sab ande(egg) tere
ya bata k kitne hai to 8 k 8 tere
ya agar ye bata de k kis ke he to murgi bhi teri.
Banta: Hint de!
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Santa: Kal raat 3 ghante English picture ki CD dekhi
na kutch dikhaai diya na awaz ayi
Banta: Movie
ka nam kya tha?
Santa: Please insert the disc
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Santa baraf ka tukda hath me lekar gour se dekha raha tha..
Banta: Kya kar rahe ho?
Snata: Dekh raha hu ki pani leak kaha se ho raha hai…
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Santa 1st time plane me baitha.
Plane runway pe chal raha tha.
Tabhi Santa ne pilot ko SLAP mara aur bola:
Sale, mai Late ho raha hun aur tu By road ja raha hai?
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Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500
Santa: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye
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Santa ki Biwi

Santa ki Biwi bhaaG Gayi

3 din baad wapis aayii.

Santa Gusse Se boLa

"Hun ki lain Aayii Hai''

Biwi: "Mobile da charger bhul gai c wahi."

Shaadi ke baad Pati ke Mobile mein

Shaadi ke baad Pati ke Mobile mein Biwi ka naam MY LIFE likha tha..

Aftr 1 yr: MY WIFE
Aftr 5 yrs: HOME
Aftr 10 yrs: HITLER
Aftr 15 yrs: WRONG NUMBER

Jija Saali Funny SMS

Saali to Jija:
kya kr rhy ho?
Jija:
Makhiyan mar rha hon
Saali:
kitni mari?
Jija:
3 male or 2 female
Saali:
Kse malom?
Jija:
3 shrab ki botle se chipki hui thi or 2 phone se

Kid's password - Joke

A Kid calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.
Kid: When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. Whatz the joke?
Help Desk: Dear kid, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind, he can't read your password.
Kid: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.

One Sardar was enjoying Sun - Funny joke

One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.
A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing"
Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and asked! ! ! ! the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me! Banta Singh"
Third one came and asked the same question
Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach.
He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?"
The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing.
The Sardar slapped him on his face

and said

"Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoond
rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. "

Munna Bhai Jokes SMS

CIRCUIT: Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?SHORT CIRCUIT: Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehla hai.MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya...

Hindi Jokes

what is real love?
so i tell you a sweet story…..
ek sparrow ko ek white gulaab se pyar ho gaya,
usne gulaab ko propose kiya,
Gulaab ne javab diya ki jis din main laal ho jaunga us din main tumse pyarkarunga,
javab sun ke sparrow gulaab ke aas- pass kanto pe lotne lagi,
or uske khoon se gulaab laal ho gaya,
ye dekh gulaab ne bhi usse kaha ki vo bhi usse pyaar karta hai,
par tab tak sparrow mar chuki thi ,
that’s true love story..

Hindi Jokes

Pareshaan thi Chintu ki wife
Non-happening thi jo uski life
Chintu ko na milta tha aaram
Office main karta kaam hi kaam
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Chintu ke boss bhi the bade cool
Promotion ko har baar jate the bhul
Par bhulte nahi the wo deadline
Kaam to karwate the roz till nine
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Chintu bhi banna chata tha best
Isliye to wo nahi karta tha rest
Din raat karta wo boss ki gulami
Onsite ke ummid main deta salami
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Din guzre aur guzre fir saal
Bura hota gaya Chintu ka haal
Chintu ko ab kuch yaad na rehta tha
Galti se Biwi ko Behenji kehta tha
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Aakhir ek din Chintu ko samjh aaya
Aur chod di usne Onsite ki moh maya
Boss se bola, “Tum kyon satate ho ?”
“Onsite ke laddu se buddu banate ho”
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“Promotion do warna chala jaunga”
“Onsite dene par bhi wapis na aunga”
Boss haans ke bola “Nahi koi baat”
“Abhi aur bhi Chintus hai mere paas”
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“Yeh duniya Chintuon se bhari hai”
“Sabko bas aage badhne ki padi hai”
“Tum na karoge to kisi aur se karunga”
“Tumhari tarah Ek aur Chintu banaunga”